Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Our Baby Story

Wes and I found out that we were pregnant in June 2013, and have since been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our precious bundle of joy. In September 2013 we found out that baby Bergman is a girl, and celebrated with a Gender Reveal Party for Addison Faith Bergman.


I was blessed with a smooth and easy 9 months of pregnancy. During that time I worked hard to prepare for labor and delivery, and for caring for baby as best as I could by reading nearly everything I could get my hands on, and listening to all my mommy friend's stories and advice. I worked tirelessly to set up the nursery by 35 weeks, just in case baby decided to arrive early. I cleaned and organized and decorated her room in less than a week. We were ready, and yet, no where near ready. By 34 weeks, I tried very hard not to dwell or agonize over the impending labor and delivery. I'd researched as much as I could about the event, but still had no idea what it would really be like, since labor and delivery is different for each woman. I couldn't wait to meet my baby, but I was terrified of what I would have to do to get her here. I made it to 37.5 weeks of pregnancy before my water unexpectedly broke at 3:30 AM on Monday January 27, 2014. After 5 stunned minutes of trying to absorb that fact, I woke Wes to break the news, and we both took another 5+ minutes to process what this meant. We were both in shock, shaking uncontrollably with nerves. It was time! Within 24 hours, Addison Faith would be born. After 9 long months of anxiously awaiting our precious blessing, D-day had finally arrived.

2 months

3 months

4 months

5 months

6 months

7 months

8 months
9 months
After we got past our initial shock, we took showers to try to calm and relax our nerves, and finished putting together our last minute hospital bag items. By 5:30 AM we were finally on our way to the hospital, still stunned that the time had come. After a short evaluation, they determined that my water had indeed broke and I was 1cm dilated with 50% effacement, and admitted us at 7:00 AM. It was 7:30 AM before I started feeling any labor pains. Since my water had broken, we had approximately 24 hours to deliver in order to avoid possible infection. So they kept a close eye on my progress, and by 10:00 AM, since I was still only 1-2cm, they administered Petocin to help move the labor forward. The Petocin kicked in, and the contractions started to come quicker and more intensely, and unfortunately, so did back labor. Back labor was the worst! When a contraction was over, the pain from back labor would continue so that there was basically no break between contractions; the pain was constant. By 10:00 PM I was still only 7cm, so my doctor was considering Petocin again, as well as an uncomfortable/painful procedure that would determine how well the contractions were progressing the cervix dilation. After 19.5 hours of labor, my contractions were about 1 minute apart, lasting 60-90 seconds, and consisted of frontal contractions, back labor and the strong urge to bear down. By that point, I was more than ready to get her out. To still be only 7cm after all that time, I didn't know how much more I could take. I didn't know how much longer it would be, and did not relish the thought of Petocin, which would only make the already painful contractions even worse. I had reached the point where I needed some type of reprieve, especially since we didn't know how much longer it would be, so I requested an epidural. I had been so terrified of an epidural, but had finally reached a point after 19.5 hours where I couldn't take much more without it. So I received an epidural around 10:15 PM, and 10 minutes later I had dilated to 9cm! Finally, some quick progress! The epidural helped to take away the pain, including the horrible back labor, and all I felt was the tensing and pressure from the contractions. I was finally able to rest and relax between contractions, so that my labor progressed quickly, and somewhere around 12:00 AM Tuesday January 28, we were ready to start pushing. After 1.5 hours of pushing, we were ready for the doctor to come in to deliver our baby. Another 15 or so minutes, Addison Faith Bergman was finally born at 2:37 AM on Tuesday January 28, 2014 after 23 hours of labor. She was 7 lbs even, 19.5 inches long, with good healthy lungs and the most beautiful and perfect features. The cord was cut and she was quickly wiped down before being laid on my chest for skin to skin contact. When I got my first glimpse of her, the first thought that popped into my head was that she was actually cute! I was pleasantly surprised because I had wondered throughout my pregnancy if I would think she was a cute or ugly newborn, but from the moment I saw her, I thought she was beautiful and perfect, and looked like her daddy.

My 23 hour long labor was not ideal, and had not gone as planned what with having an epidural, but the overall labor had been good and positive, and ended in a natural delivery. My doctor later said that the epidural was the best choice, because I most likely would have ended up with a C-section otherwise. And when all was said and done, baby and I were healthy and safe. A complete win-win. We went home late Wednesday afternoon, and Addison slept on the entire drive home. Since we've been home we've been adjusting to breastfeeding and sleepless nights. It's been an adjustment from a family of two to a family of three, but has been well worth all the challenges. It is hard not to just sit and stare at her beautiful, perfect face, especially when we should be sleeping. At times I feel so vulnerable and helpless when I can't calm her crying, and a desperate fear sometimes surfaces when I worry over something bad happening to her. I want nothing more than to care for, and love her, and protect her ... to raise her with a strong faith and loving relationship with God, for her to know how precious and cherished she is. It's amazing to love someone so small and new to the world, with such a deep and abiding love. From the moment I first saw her, I've been so completely and utterly in love. The love I have for Wes has not diminished, but my capacity for love has expanded to envelop her so that the two of them are now the most precious and beloved people in my world. Being a mom is still so new, and I will face so many challenges. Sometimes Addison cries unconsolably to the point which makes me cry as well, and I'm so tired at times that I can fall asleep within minutes at any point in the day. I miss sleeping in, or sleeping for longer than 2 hours at a time. I hate the vulnerable and helpless feeling that is occasionally associated with the fact that this little person is completely dependent upon me, and the fear and worry I feel over something terrible happening to her. I miss having longer than 5 minutes time to snuggle with my husband, and the freedom to do anything at any time. My world has completely changed. But I wouldn't have it any other way. My daughter is our biggest blessing, and apart from Wes, the absolute highlight of my life. Being a mother requires sacrifice, but the reward is far beyond any price I will ever have to pay. I thank God every day for the blessing of our daughter, the perfect miracle that she is. She is the light in our darkness, the hope for our future. She is the most loved and cherished part of our lives. We are so beyond blessed by Addison Faith Bergman. Welcome to the world, my beautiful, precious baby girl!

first family photo




daddy's video game hold
lol, caught an unhappy moment
1 week old
1 week old


2 weeks old