Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Addison 0-4 Months Old

The first four months since Addison's birth have been both amazing and challenging. After four months, being a mother feels more natural and I'm more confident, but for a while I felt so inexperienced and unsure of my self and my abilities in being able to care for this tiny human. There were times when I couldn't soothe her crying, and poor Wes would find us both in the living room sobbing. I was so tired so often that I could no longer remember what it was like to function without exhaustion. For the past few months, my house looks as if it's been struck by a tornado, and I am just now starting to finally put it back together, piece by small piece. I used to love cooking; now I always try to find the quickest meal that requires the least amount of prep. We eat with paper plates and plastic silverware. My washer and dryer is constantly full, and piles of clean, unfolded laundry cover every spare surface of my house. My only down-time is my twenty-five minute showers. When she goes to bed, I go to bed. I have become ambidextrous and an expert at eating my cold meals one-handed. I am a pro at juggling and multitasking. I miss sleeping in, or sleeping in general. If I could have one night of uninterrupted sleep, I guarantee that I could sleep for twelve hours straight. I have many jobs: mother, homemaker, wife, bookkeeper, photographer, maid, chauffeur, chef, chew toy; and more responsibilities than I can count. Town days are an adventure. White noise is my best friend. Her attempted laughs and talking are my favorite sounds in the world. Her smile makes everything better. Her cheeks are chubby and kissable. She is my little chunky monkey. I love staring into her big, blue eyes. I have gladly spent too much time acting as embarrassingly ridiculous as possible in order to get her to smile. She is my favorite snuggler. When she holds my finger with her whole hand, I wish that she would never let go. The past few months have been full of challenges indeed, but full of amazing, once-in-a-lifetime moments as well. And absolutely worth all the tears, both hers and mine.

Addison has experienced many firsts these past months. First bath, town day, dining in a restaurant, holiday, church, beach trip, cattle branding, family vacation, zoo, picnic, camping trip, art work. My favorites have been her first smile, cooing and laughs. She is very alert and curious about the world around her. She holds her head up well, sits up assisted and loves standing with assistance. I have a feeling that she will be moving and grooving before we know it. She loves her pacifier. She talks, but mostly when she's upset. She tries to laugh, and occasionally succeeds, but most of the time it's a coughing laugh. She is full of smiles and enjoys playing with her toys. She likes looking at faces and chewing on toys or blankets. She grunts and snorts. Since three months, she's slept 4-6 hours at night before needing to be fed, which is nice because in the beginning we were lucky if she would sleep for one hour at a time. She wouldn't nap in her crib until four months; before then I used to have to hold her while she slept or else she didn't sleep. Breastfeeding was a challenge until almost four months old, when I started supplementing with formula. With the formula she's received the extra calories her body needed, and now she is a happy, and content little baby. She was small and slender for the longest time, but has finally put on weight and now she's my little chunk-a-monk. She does well in the car, and enjoys riding in the stroller or baby carrier. She watches TV. Before two months old, she always cried when taking pictures with mommy. Her lip quivers when she cries; it is the most pitiful thing I've ever seen. She's loves Sophie the giraffe. She used to always cry during bath time, but is starting to enjoy it. She loved being swaddled until four months old. She used to have a crying squeak. She is so fascinating to me.

In four months, it's amazing to see how much and how quickly she's grown. In ways she still seems so small, but looking back, I realize that those newborn months have passed so fleetingly. It's a challenge to remember to enjoy and cherish each day, to relish in the present and each precious moment. Before I know it, these days will be gone and my baby girl will be all grown up. There are many moments I look forward to experiencing once she's older, but I'm trying very hard to enjoy the moments I have with her now. It's very rare that I hold her while she's sleeping now-a-days, and during those few sweet embraces, I savor how small and lovable she is. It's those moments that I wish would last forever. Sometimes my heart is so full of love for her that it's near to bursting. How can we possibly love one tiny person so much? The amount of love that my heart is able to hold for her and Wes astounds me. It is a love like no other. Life is never as exciting, or challenging, or rewarding as when you become a parent. My life has changed completely. My whole world has been altered so irreversibly that I can't remember anymore what my life was like before her, and can no longer imagine life without her. She is my greatest blessing, requires my greatest sacrifice and rewards us with the greatest of joy. I can't wait to see what the next few months have in store for my little family!

first bath








first holiday: Valentine's Day


1 month
first beach trip





2 months 




first Easter 



first cattle branding 



3 months
first art work

first Mother's Day
first camping trip
love Sophie giraffe



4 months